From left to right: brother Paul, dad, brother Jack, Pappy, and me. Circa 1966? The Stevens family is a threadbare and quirky quilt. It is beloved, lovely and warm, but perhaps not always the finest needlework and maybe a tad stained. This is probably true of every family except, perhaps, the Norman Rockwell clan. Idealized families seldom exist as wholesomely as Mr. Rockwell painted them. Except for Pappy. "Pappy" was my paternal grandfather and his real name was James Ogle

The criticisms of Gay Pride typically involved some convoluted mental gyrations. Here's a little fantasy of what happens if you extract that school of thinking to other celebrations.